0211 what he thinks when you cry sm

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you’re crying in front of your guy? Like, in the middle of bawling about how mean your boss is, you wonder for a split second if he secretly thinks you’re being dramatic, crazy, sensitive, weak, or that you just don’t look good with a red nose and wet cheeks? Well, we talked to ten guys to find out what really goes on in their minds when we start with the waterworks. This is what they said…

“Assuming there’s nothing obviously wrong, and depending on my level of exhaustion it’s either, How can I fix her problem and make things better for her’ or Oh God, what is it this time, and how long will it take to get through this episode?'”

“My thoughts are, Is my baby okay, and what can I do to help make things better (i.e, what can I do to fix the problem!)?'”

“Oh God, I wonder how long it will take her to get over this one…No way am I apologizing…She’s crazy.'”

“I would think it’s that time of the month or what meaningless thing set her off this time!”

“It breaks my heart when a girl I’m seeing cries. I think it probably comes from having four sisters, but it’s a sure way to get me to take a step back, or immediately sympathize.”

“Is she really crying right now? I really don’t want to deal with this now. Is it that time of month? %&@! my life.”

“I instantly feel guilty, regardless of whether I did anything wrong. In fact, I feel guilty even if she’s crying about something that doesn’t remotely involve me, like her job or friend drama. I’m all about gender equality, but some primordial part of me still sees myself as her protector.”

“I would be thinking of what I could do that would cheer her up, or if just being there as a shoulder and a listener is what she needs.”

“Well, THAT was the wrong thing to say.’ But assuming I wasn’t the one who caused the crying and that the cause is not physical pain, my thought process goes something like, Does she want a shoulder right now? Does she want to talk? Does she want me close by for when she wants either of these things or does she want to be alone?’ I’ve found that getting the answer right is about 50/50 but that making sure she knows I’m willing to do whatever she wants or needs is at least remembered and appreciated after the crisis abates, even if it only makes the moment messier and more confusing.

“It breaks MY heart just as much to see a woman I care about hurting to the point of tears. Although I might wanna run away, I just want her to know I’m here, I care, and I’ll do anything to help take the burden.”

What do you think? Which guys sound like yours—the sympathetic ones or the impatient ones? Did this make you feel better or worse?

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Photo: Wendy Hope