Jake Answers Your 4 Most Secret Sex Questions
“Balls. What to do with them?” a reader wrote in to ask me recently. (Funny thing, I often ask myself that very question!) So for this month’s column, I thought I’d shine a light, so to speak, on the things that make you go “Hmm,” straight from my Dear Jake inbox…
Why are guys so obsessed with anal sex?__
Well, when you give a massage, don’t you tend to rub where and how you’d like to be rubbed? Same applies for anal. Guys get pleasure from having things (your finger, ideally; no sharp nails, please) in their ass, so they assume you’ll feel the same. And for some women (not all), it is pleasurable. Plus, it’s novel and a little taboo—performing anal is like having a sanctioned affair. We’re cheating on your front with your behind.
Period sex: What do guys think?
Just ask. Depends on the guy. Personally, I don’t mind at all. I’ll grab a towel, and then we have amazing, extra wet, extra hot sex (many women I’ve been with have reported that they are horniest during that time of the month). My squeamish friend Henry,* however, is not a fan. “I can’t watch horror movies, and I can’t do period sex,” he says. “Just not my thing.” So, as with so many things in the bedroom, talk it over.
The grundle: What’s it for?
To be honest, I had to google “the grundle.” Turns out that it’s the taint (the perineum, which ‘taint the butt and ‘taint the package). OK, so on that: Sex is about exploration; it’s like Star Trek—boldly going where no man has gone before. So go ahead, fundle the grundle! (No, there isn’t a sex act called fundling, but hey, invent one!) Why’s it so sensitive? Because biology: There are major nerve endings there. Remember, every man is different; I love being touched anywhere. Others, like squeamish Henry, consider it a “no-fly zone.”
And balls. What to do with them?
Ever heard the urban legend about Sly Stallone giving advice on set to “stroke the shaft and cup the balls”? Now you have. It’s good advice! Balls are like teen boys: incredibly sensitive and not good under pressure. So cradle them, but please don’t rub or tug them. The scrotum, though, is a different ball of “whacks”: “I like when a girl pulls my sack a bit, the skin between the balls,” says Ted. Maybe your guy’s like Ted—or maybe he’s more like Sly. So just ask, “Does this feel good?”