Would You Rather: Be the Dumper Or the Dumpee?
Apologies in advance for this sad installment of Would You Rather, but I think it’s a provocative question. Let’s consider for a moment that you’re in a relationship and, for whatever reason, someone wants out. I don’t think it needs to be said again that breakups are a big pile of suck no matter what, but if you had to choose between the two–would you rather be the dumper or the dumpee?
Things to ponder:
The bad news about being the dumper is that you need to be certain it’s over before pulling the plug. Worse, the person you’re dumping might be completely and utterly devastated. No one wants to hurt the one they once loved. And what if you make a mistake and let go of something wonderful that you can never get back? As the dumper, you have to take responsibility. Ugh. On the other hand, you are in the driver’s seat, and there’s something to be said for that.
Let’s start with the tears, the pit in the stomach that won’t go away, and knowing that someone you shared so much with wants out… even writing it makes me want to curl in a ball. The upside—if there is one—is that you’re not the culprit, and now you have every excuse to feel sorry for yourself. As the dumpee, you get lots of attention and have a free pass to act like a weirdo, spend lots of money, and stuff your face with chocolates.
OK, now that I’ve sufficiently depressed you, which of the two would you prefer? And based on your experience, what are the upsides and downsides?
Tips for getting on with your life:
The 5-Step Breakup Recovery Plan
Minimize Your Breakup Recovery: 13 Reactions in Just 4 Words!
My Secret (and Awesome) Tool For Getting Over a Painful Breakup